What Disney never elaborated, was how unlikely, my actually likely life situation was.
In the beginning, when my peers and sisters pondered and failed to stick to one particular ambition throughout the almost entire school life, I on the otherwise was proud to be sorted in my mind with only one dream of future: to be a doctor.
The stumble actually came at a very crucial point though. The very months I began to prepare for my AISSE (Class 10th boards), my mind conjured up endless questions. Do I really want to become a doctor. Or am I more suited as someone else. Do you think I would make a good doctor etc etc.
Alarmed with my thoughts, I did what a classical miss goody-two-shoes (god, how I wish I wasn't one, maybe that would have made my parents realise that they are raising girls and not a herd of sheep) would do. I communicated my fears to my parents.
And what happened, was a rational discussion of my wayward thoughts. I was counselled and reassured that any person worth his/her salt has to doubt himself/ herself at least once orelse you tend to become egotistical.
I am kidding. That's not what happened.
This is what happened:
My ever god loving and God fearing parents, immediately called up the astrologer our family was seeing at that time, a Ms M. and aired all my concerns to her over the phone.
The result: Ms. M consulted my fortune and recommended that I definitely take up Science after 10th and pursue medical/engineering as the stars seemed favourable.
I kid you not. Not even a little bit.
A child goes to her parents, about relevant adolescent fears and instead of a heart to heart or even a I don't know how do I put it words? Like instead of asking me when how and why I felt that way and sharing how they went through their periods of self doubt, they just mailed off my concerns to their damn astrologer for the convenient google search answer.
I would have been surprised if this was like the first time.. Like how in transition from grade 5 to 6, where we had to choose any two second languages out of Hindi, Assamese and French. I wanted to take French and Hindi, but was debarred from doing so cause Assamese is my mother tongue so I should continue it. Or how just because I had my periods, it was considered an ill omen to go on my school excursion to Odisha in grade 8.
Like how, even 9 years after completing my 10th my dad disregards my patience to wait and score a decent rank in neet pg to get to postgraduation, and just pushes my low rank to the mop up rounds in DPU to the only available branch there except ophthalmology, ENT and orthopaedics, all of them that I had no interest in. And after all said and done asked me "Are you happy with your branch?"
If only, my silence could scream.
No comments:
Post a Comment